After multiple inquiries over the years about whether we actually sell crankshafts on Crankshaft Culture, this April 1, we’ve decided the answer is now “yeah, sure.” For a limited time, we’re offering the Screamin’ Opossum Crankshaft. You’re definitely maybe going to want one of these critters for your engine.

The Crankshaft Culture Crankshafts Screamin’ Opossum is made from the most moderate-quality materials and fabricated in a “factory.” Designed to fit some vehicles, you’ll find average construction, “bearings,” and a host of other features that’ll make you want to “hiss off” when you head out for an adventure. And with their random “play dead” feature, you’ll keep the surprises going every time you fire up your shitbox.

Do they work? Maybe. The Crankshaft Culture Crankshafts zero-cares warranty means we have zero-cares about this product! The good news? Just like an opossum, it’s rare you’ll get rabies from this baby—but you might get angry! (You could still get rabies.)

Hurry while supplies last: The Screamin’ Opossum Crankshaft is only available on April 1, so “Hiss Off” and get yours yesterday! Also, check out our real line of Crankshaft Culture gear. In addition, the Crankshaft Culture eBay store has all sorts of apparel to make sure you don’t look like a fool this April (and any other time).